I wanted to share with you all the thoughts and feelings behind my recent book 'Once I had a
flower'. My motivations for this book after having created it were to get it out to all of those (young and old) who have/are suffering with grief and heart-break as that is where the motivation came from on personal point of view. I increasingly wanted it to bring comfort to those during these difficult circumstances through this pandemic too. All the books I have written involving Scarlet Red have involved either one of my own personal experiences or written for another person in mind. Often being able to share these thoughts and experiences in a gently applied way felt the least I could do to reach out to anyone in need. This book however, was my first one. It was a complete outpour for me during my peak of anxiety and depression. The idea came to me at 3am and I had to write it down 'Book involving the character I just created and a personified flower' I think is along the lines of what I wrote. Continuous nights after this I was waking up to add more to these notes, and ended up spending one writing the whole story and then amending it the next day. It gave me a focus during a time that I was finding it hard to function, even with the small things. I thought the flower could be a figure that anyone could relate to, whatever significance, age or gender and something that could be loved significantly too. I thought the appearance of a daisy signified peace to me. Scarlet took a while longer to come up with. It was only within the end of of Uni year that I came up with a still-developing yet more established style for illustrating. I was contemplating for a while how to create a character that would resonate with me personally and also allow other people to relate to it. I had many colour options for Scarlet originally (which I shall display in another post). However, when I chose the red one i realised that I had an old unused instagram account named Scarlet red for when I had a mad phase of taking photos of things with bright red involved (not of much interest). Thereafter, Scarlet Red was born and I continue to develop and write sequels for her character in the hope that they get out to those who find comfort in her. Scarlet came from my heart during a time I was deeply struggling with spiralling grief, heartbreak from a relationship and stress from University and friendships that I wasn't capable of helping. I am releasing her in the hope that she will find you when she is most needed to you.
Lots of love
Ness (Scarlet) x